Prayer Request for a Friend

I'm not sure what to do now, other than pray.

My co-designer at my current job, A, had an interview today in her hometown for a job as a designer.  She would be doing work that is different than what we do now.  She texted me how she thought things went today in regard to the interview & if she will like the job, etc.  A thinks the interview went well, but she's not sure that she wants to do that kind of stuff.  And she's not sure that she will get along well with a few of the other women who will work there.

I'm frustrated for her & a little angry.  I want so bad for her to also leave the current company with me.  The company now is going downhill extremely fast.  It will not get better.

After I dropped the bomb on M&L on Sunday night, they had called A over to visit with her and see what her intentions were.  She was honest about what she liked & didn't like.  She wasn't sure whether to tell them that she had an interview in her hometown or not, but ultimately decided on Monday morning that she should tell them.  Now M&L were extremely upset.  If A were to leave, they would lose both their designers (you can't sell jobs without someone to design & quote them!).  L has an attitude anyway about certain things, and this made her fly off the handle.  She had words with her son & they had a big argument, as her son wants M&L out of the company (and specifically told them so) or he will quit.  L has been giving both myself, A & her son the cold shoulder since Monday, not saying anything, not answering our phone calls or even making eye contact with us.  It has been awkward to say the least, being motivated to work hard these last two weeks trying to finish things up, with someone who thinks you're the worst person in the world.

The threat about the son leaving wasn't an empty threat, so M&L met with a lawyer on Wednesday to transfer the ownership of their company to their son.  The son is hiring his BIL & his BIL's wife, as well as adding another person as a delivery person.  But no additional designer to help A out.  It is hard enough with just A & myself, and now after I leave, she won't get any help.  The son thinks we just waste time & don't do anything all day.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  There is so much more crazy to the story that the son wants to do with "his" new company, but you wouldn't believe it if I tried to tell you.

I'd so hoped that A could leave soon after I left to escape this utter craziness, but it is not looking that way.  She went to a home improvement store today after her interview to inquire about a design position, but they hired a new designer yesterday.  Yes.  Really.

It seems like A is getting battered left & right.  She has had about 8 hours of conversation after work hours within two days with M&L and the son.  She is fed up with all the drama that this job entails, but she is the major breadwinner in her family & has two young kids, so getting a good job is of the utmost importance.  She can't just leave without another job lined up.

Myself, on the other hand, didn't even plan to look for a job until one afternoon, found the position randomly, applied a few days later, got offered the job later that week on the same day as my interview & found a rental house in my hometown within a week.  God is being so gracious to me, but seems to ignore her.  Why?

Could you please pray for A?  Pray that her spirits are lifted, that she finds a job opportunity close to home, that her husband finds a job, for St. Joseph to guide her in her job search, for peace in her heart & for the crazy owners to stop harassing her about a decision to stay or not.  I am trying to believe that God has something better for her in mind.  I know A is disappointed & frustrated at having to stay with the current company but wanting desperately to leave & find a better job.  She has been a true friend & I want to do something more for her than pray.  The only thing I can do more for her is to humbly ask you to join my plea.

Acceptance

We've decided to move back to my hometown & for me to accept the job offer I've been given.  Since DH was in Canada since Wednesday, we'd only been able to have phone conversations about whether or not to take the leap of faith and accept the job and move.  After making an extensive pro & con list, we decided that the pros did in fact outweigh the cons.  The two biggest cons were leaving our beautiful home & leaving my job (that included telling the bosses).

I talked all weekend with my family & in-laws about whether or not to move & take the job.  Everyone was in agreement that this job would be more dead end down the road, the company would go downhill, my co-designer would leave & I would be unhappy that I missed the opportunity for the job that is currently offered.  

As I drove back from my hometown & the in-laws house today, I thought that this evening would be as good as any to go over to the owners' house & give them the news that I would be putting in my two weeks.  I prayed & asked Jesus to be right beside me holding my hand.  I asked St. Joseph to give me the right words to say, as he was the one who guided his family on the flight to Egypt, so would he watch over our "flight" now.  

A neat thing that I just realized today (nothing like a lightbulb moment!), is that to get to my new job in my hometown, I travel from the main downtown road and turn onto St. Joseph Avenue, which runs right into the building where I will work.   Imagine that.  St. Joseph's patronage & watchful presence wherever I go.  :-)  I do really believe he interceded for bringing Luke into our family, as I have definitely asked his intercession since then more frequently.

I texted M (the boss) and L (his wife) to ask if I could stop by tonight to talk to them.  I wanted to vomit just thinking about telling them and wanted to not even give two weeks notice ... just not show up.  I had DH go over a few lines with me about how to start the conversation & I rehearsed them over and over and over and over for about a half hour & all the way to their house.  I just wanted to get it over with.  L opened the door & led me back to the family room where M was.  She sat down & I sat down. We exchanged a few pleasantries.  Then I said my piece, "Since Luke was born, DH & I have wanted to be closer to family.  We have decided to move back to my hometown in the next few weeks & I wanted to stop by tonight to let you know & to give you my two weeks notice."  

They asked me a few questions, "How, When, Why, is it because of our son taking over?"  All I said was because of family & gave several examples.  They said they understood the reason & that they would miss me both personally & professionally.  They said that the company would be hurt by my leaving & they asked who would organize things if I was gone.  I told them I hadn't talked to anyone about this, not even my fellow designer (which is stretching the truth a bit).  I told them jokingly that BIL would have to come over sooner to take over, to which they said that if BIL came over to help their Son, it would be in the warehouse, not in the office.  Well ... they've got to come up with a plan for that now.  They said that I was like a daughter to them & they hated to see me, DH & Luke leave.  I apologized for leaving through tears, got several hugs from L & left.  The tears were real.  I am truly sorry to leave & for the impact it will have on their business.

The next thing I know is that my fellow designer (who wants to leave ASAP too) texts me and says that M&L want her to come over to their house.  I tell her that I haven't said anything about her wanting to leave.  She is nervous & terrified about what they will talk to her about.  I told her I was praying for her and I have been.  It is hard to be untruthful, but if your heart isn't in the job anymore, it is time to move on.  

Tomorrow, I get to call the manager at my new job & tell them I accept their offer, as well as put in an application on a rental house.  It is both nerve-wracking and exciting to be moving forward with a new job & city, leaving everything I've known for eight years behind.

** UPDATE:  So I called my friend, the designer who works with me, to ask how her conversation with M&L went.  She was there for an hour and forty five minutes!  They apparently were blindsided by my leave.  She gave me the info that when M&L told their son I was leaving, all he said was "I figured she would, it is no big deal."  Oooohhhh, I am so mad!  I'm glad I'm leaving.  He doesn't know what he's missing!

Job Offer

It has been a whirlwind of a day!! But I got a job offer out of it!

I was woken up by Luke this morning about 4:30 am for a bottle. I stays up packing and getting myself ready so we could leave by 6:30. Well, we left about 7:15 am. It is hard getting everything put together yourself instead of having a helper with a DH. Luke did well on the trip traveling & took a nap on the road. We ended up at my parents house about 1/2 hour prior and I dropped Luke off to change clothes & scurry out. Luke forgot who Grandma and Aunt N were, so he bawled as I was running around & leaving. I felt terrible, but it confirmed that this is exactly why I want to move. I want Luke to know his family.

The gal I spoke to on the phone was very nice! She interviewed me with the designer J who is still there. I liked them both immediately! It was more of a conversation than an interview. They have health insurance & benefits like paid time off (earn hours based on perfect attendance), no Saturdays, maternity leave, etc. it is a much more organized and streamlined company! I am only responsible for a much smaller piece of the pie than what I am now. They can also get very close on salary to what I need. I need to crunch #'s on how it will work on one income, but I think it will work. We also need to find a rental house, as my SIL & BIL have rented it. I'm thinking that's ok, as you probably don't want to rent to family anyway.

I'm nervous about telling my current bosses on Mon morning. That is the worst thing I can think of right now.

An Interview!!

After so many of your lovely replies & affirmations on what I really did know in my heart I wanted to do, I decided to pursue the designer job & see if I could get an interview.  I spent Sunday evening updating my resume so I could have it ready to email Monday morning when I made my call.   I hate doing resumes & cover letters ... it is hard to describe yourself as phenomenal and worth hiring!

I called the company about 10:30 am Monday and spoke to a very pleasant woman named Jann.  She said that yes, they still are taking applications, asked how I heard about the job opening & why I wanted to move for the job.  After I explained about wanting to move back to be closer to family and a little about my experience, I could tell she was pleased & maybe a little excited I was interested.  The gal that I would replace if I got the job is leaving next week.  There is one other designer there, which is great, as I wouldn't be on my own to figure the ropes out.  

We set up a meeting for this Friday at 10:30 am so I can meet Jann & the one designer who is staying on at the Showroom.  (This means I have to buy new dress pants that I can fit into.  Boo for pants shopping!)  I am very hopeful that I will be strongly considered & hope to find out more about what benefits they offer.  

I will keep you posted on how things go!  Thank you again for all the prayers & kind words sent my way!  They have lifted up my soul and continue to fill me with peace in such a difficult decision.

Loyalty

I need to get this all down on paper - so here goes ....

I moved to your average city in Kansas 6 months after I met DH on a blind date on New Years Eve.  I knew that this relationship was going places, so after much discussion with DH & prayer, he liked the town he was currently in, so I would just find a job there.  So I sent out resumes to all the Cabinet places in town (I was in luck, there were about 7-8).  No one really was hiring, but I did follow up on calls to all the people I sent resumes to.  I had interviews at two places.  One was a small Mom & Pop Cabinet Showroom, where they sold Cabinets, Countertops, etc.  The other was at a Builder Supply store (and a pretty crappy one at that).   When I was offered the job at the Mom & Pop Showroom, I accepted & was excited about working there.  They even drove their delivery truck up the 3 hours to where I currently lived to help me make the move, helped pack & drove my furniture back.

I have learned a lot these last 7-1/2 years (it will be 8 years in June).  I've had a great teacher in the "Pop" that owned the shop & have (mostly) enjoyed all the customers & am very confident that I am a great Kitchen & Bath Designer.  I'm not trying to toot my own horn & look down my nose at others, but I think I do a thorough, complete, efficient, proficient job.  It is not award certified, I'm sure, but I do have a lot of happy customers as a result.

As we were growing the business, M (the "Pop") was the lead designer & his wife, L (the "Mom"), was the book keeper & helped with customers.  M's health wasn't great, as he's had heart trouble, foot trouble, back trouble ... you name it.  I quickly learned the ropes and became the "go-to" person in the company for getting answers to questions, designing, quoting, ordering, project management & all customer relations.  By the end of my second year, I was working til 7 or 8 (sometimes even 9) at night on quoting & designing, just to keep up with quotes, while M & L went home at 5-6 pm.  DH & I ate out all the time as I didn't feel like cooking when I got home, so we ended up weighing more than ever.  It didn't do wonders for our marriage, as we never seemed to see each other.

After about a year or more of this, I was getting burnt out & feeling overwhelmed.  M & L began to look for another designer to come on board to help me out.  We hired a young designer from the same college in Nebraska that I went to, who soon moved to our town with family (including two young children).  In the last 4 years, she has been a big help & blessing, as well as a great friend.  She grew up 1/2 hour north of where I grew up, so we have the same background & current weekend travel schedule when it comes to family.  I really like her & we have got along great.  

Over the years, we've always had troubles with getting a good Installer to be on-staff or reliable to install our products.  For a few years, we had a great guy who was easy to get along with.  Then he and his wife went through a divorce & he was never the same.  He ended up throwing a few people in our company under the bus in front of customers & that just wasn't right.  M, the owner, wanted someone that he could have run the company so he could retire for health reasons.  So he found this next guy ... This next guy was hired (he is a cousin of M, the owner), but he just recently is giving his two weeks.  This guy never put in more effort than it took to get the job done.  He didn't want to work nights or weekends or organize anything in the warehouse in regard to being efficient.  I was primarily "in charge" while he got the big bucks.  He was intolerable for us until ... the owner hired his son, J!  

J has been a shop teacher the last 15 years & installed Cabinets & Tops for his dad prior to that.  J also coaches football, wrestling & track at a small-town high school about 20 minutes away.  What that means is that J leaves about 3 pm everyday to go coach the sport of the season, while "making up" his hours at another time.  I do not believe he makes up the hours.  I have not ever seen him in on weekends when he wasn't pressured into getting a job done because he procrastinated too long.  While J has been great about organization, he does it when HE wants to, not when it should be done in regard to customer jobs.  He put off building or installing Customer projects while he spent 2 weeks organizing the warehouse.  That should be done on his OFF-time, not during business hours.  J also is a pretty big know-it-all, as he is always giving his opinion of how things should be done (which is fine if I ask for it, but it is not fine in front of customers to talk over them to "do things this way").  He also wants to do things his way in the Showroom, instead of asking how things have been done, what works best & then deciding that if his way is better (or worse), adapting accordingly.  I have been a very knowledgeable source of information as I've been at the company the last 7-1/2 years practically running our day-to-day & install schedule, but he doesn't ask me anything.  He wants to re-invent the wheel, but I don't know why he wants to, other than to "prove it can be done."  I know what works & what hasn't, but it makes no difference.  

J had thrown me under the bus a few weeks ago, saying that a customer delivery error was my fault (it probably was, and if you know me, I would readily own up to that myself), when he could have just said, "I'm sorry that this was messed up."  The customer was a repeat builder who is very nice & I have a great relationship with him.  Instead, he said, "It is not MY fault.  It is AIHPT's fault.  SHE wrote the ticket wrong."  Also, as we are trying to come up with branding jingles for the business (this has NEVER been done!), there was an idea about a line that I thought I'd dreamt up & it sounded good.  When talking with the man who will actually put together the jingle, my friend the other designer, said that I had thought it up.  To which I replied, "oh, it is a blend of all our ideas, I just put it down on paper."  To which J said, "I came up with that."  Seriously!?!??   

As you all know, we had a major snow storm come through the Mid-West the last few days.  The owners are pretty hard-core about working no matter the weather, but we stayed actually home from work on Thursday, as it was still snowing & we didn't know how much it would accumulate.  Oh ... and also ... guess who wasn't around for the snow (and its removal)?  J (the son) wasn't there because he is a wrestling coach & they left Wednesday at 3 pm (2 days ahead of schedule) to head to their state tourney.  So he hasn't been at work or even working off-site since Wednesday at 3 pm.  As a result, there's no one to blow the snow off the parking lot so we can actually drive in without getting stranded or scoop the sidewalks at work (I do NOT consider snow removal a part of my job, especially if they want quotes done.  Pick a horse, people!).  J also wasn't there last weekend when we had our local Home Show and we had to work 3-9 on Friday & 9-8 on Saturday.  Now by "we", I mean that the only two people that worked were myself & the other designer.  All day.  And we have young children.  J was at a wrestling thingy and couldn't be there.  But he did come in at the end of us tearing things down.  And he is going to purchase this company in June.  Nice of him, huh?  

Back to the snow.  So .... I get a text from the other designer last night saying that the owners have called off work today because of the drifts, there is no one to remove snow, etc.  Then at 12:45 pm today, M calls me and says, "L is mad that there is no one at the Showroom & we are going to get behind on Quotes.  We need to get in there this afternoon & get to work"  I'm blown away.  Huh?  Where did this come from?  Luke is in the other room taking a nap, I'm showered, but not dressed or any makeup on, I'm doing Laundry, etc.  And I need to drop it all to go into work ... now??!!??  I explain to him that I hadn't heard anything from him ABOUT working today & this is kind of short notice, as I told day care that Luke wasn't coming in today, but I guess we can get ready and get out there.  Then M calls me back & says not to worry about coming in today, L will stay at the store, but I & the other designer need to come into work tomorrow & make up our hours & get Quotes done.  ... But ... we HAVE been getting Quotes done.  We both took home projects to work on during the snow storm & I personally have been working on those during Luke's nap times & late at night when I could have been goofing off.  I know I've put at least 1-1/2 days in so far.  But one thing's for sure, if L's mad, then no one's happy.  M is the head of the company, but L is the neck that turns the head, if you know what I mean. 

About 3-4 years ago, M & L decided that they wanted to work more part time than they had been doing for the last 5-10 years, so they came in every other day or so.  Then it drizzled down to every 2 days, then every 3 days.  Now, we see L maybe once a week, if that, for a few hours to do her bookkeeping.  M hasn't been in the Showroom much since his son J started in June.  The problem with that is that when we made the most as a company, we had M, L, me, the other designer & an installer, all working in the showroom full time.  Now, we have me, the other designer & their son J (when he is not at his sports events), but we are expected to still work & perform the same output as when we had 5 people.  Ummm, I'm bad at math, but even I will tell you that it ain't going to work.  All the owners (and future owner-to-be, J) want the income, but they don't want to be there - or replace themselves with another valuable employee.

It is frustrating when you give a company your all, and then it starts to go downhill.  In June, when the son J is taking over, J wants to hire his BIL to come work for us.  Problem is ... his BIL works for J's uncle (M's brother) at the small shop that builds our Custom Cabinets (you got this all straight?!?).  If J takes his BIL from his uncle, he is taking a major part of that company away.  What BIL does is most of the same things that I do ... design, quote, sell & manage jobs, but also he can build Cabinets too.  What I'm worried about is that J & BIL will be out doing their own thing, on their own time, while myself & the other designer will have to try and keep them on schedule.  Have you tried to manage a man who is 10 or 20 years older into doing what you, a younger person (and a woman to boot) wants to have done?  It is like herding cats.  J is pretty headstrong & has BIL wrapped around his little finger.  In our handbook, it states to "not hire family," yet that is all we've been doing!  Only myself & the other designer haven't been related to the owner & his family.  Family business = Family drama.

I guess I give you the background I do to tell you this:  I am considering applying to a Kitchen & Bath Showroom back in my home town.  Since Luke was born, it has been on my heart more to eventually move back closer to home so that Luke could see his grandparents more & we have babysitters (!!) with the aunts & uncles and then when other cousins come along, he will have some playmates.  As I was thinking today (due to all of my work developments, as well as DH not liking his job) while watching Luke & doing laundry, I thought of the perfect rental house that we could move into if we moved back to my hometown soon.  My sister & BIL bought my grandma's house (who died in November) and are fixing it up for a rental house.  They hope to have it rented shortly - maybe by March.  It would be close to home (same town as my entire family) and close to my in-laws (they come to my hometown to shop, as their town is so small).  

I was a little excited about that thought, texted DH about it, then thought that - ok, we need to have income, we just can't pick up and move.  So I said a prayer & asked God if he thought this was a good idea for our family, to let me know what to do.  A little while later, I was curious about what jobs might be available, so I opened up our laptop while Luke was playing & started searching for jobs for DH close to my hometown.  He is a designer/drafter, so I searched for that.  Lo and behold, there was an ad in today's paper for a "multi-tasker" in one of the local Kitchen Showrooms.  I thought that I would maybe talk to DH about this when he got home & see what he thought.  Then a few minutes later, I saw a more thorough job description for another job on Monster dot com in my hometown.  That was even more up my alley.  I began to get a little more excited!  This was God, showing me a new direction, right?!??

PROS to Moving:

 - Being close to family (both immediate & in-laws) & friends

 - Being able to save money / time / mental health / Luke's sanity on traveling once a month for 2 or 2-1/2 straight days and never seeing everyone enough / splitting the time equally

 - Initially renting, but in the end, getting a smaller house (& payment) so DH can stay home with Luke & work on expanding his side business & income (JBTC - you'll love this!!!  :-D)

 - Being close to a Runza again (LOL - it is yummy fast food (like beer rocks) & I used to work there)

 - Being back in a good traditional Catholic parish

 - Maybe our next adoption happens in NE?

CONS to Moving:

- Leaving my job (they just bought me a new computer at work)

- Leaving my house

- Leaving Luke's birth family (we would still come down to visit 3-4 x per year.  I plan on staying in touch 110%.  Also, we are currently FBook friends with his birthmom & birthmom's boyfriend)

- Being close to family  :-)  (sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder)

- Moving & packing

- All the unsettled, new things a new job brings

- Finding a new adoption agency

- Being away from the NaPro doc that led me to PPVI (but if we adopt, it doesn't matter much, other than I do have her as our family doc & like her a lot) 

I was excited about the whole new job / moving home for awhile, until I thought about leaving the company I've worked for & also our home.  The wonderful thing about the owners M&L is that they have been very generous to me over the years (they are not bad people, despite the bad things I've written here, rather they are very nice & pleasant most of the time).  When remodeling our home, we haven't paid for a single cabinet, countertop or shower that we've installed, and we've remodeled our entire house (I have worked a bunch of overtime for years that wasn't paid for, as I was salary, so DH says I worked for it.  I was always taught by my dad to work & perform as if you owned the company).  When I had Luke, I did get paid maternity leave for 6 weeks (which my friend, the other designer, says they grumbled about me taking so much time off while I was gone, as you cannot have 1 designer doing 2 people's work), but for our next child, I will get unpaid maternity leave, as they said "they can't afford it" (which is odd, as L still earns full salary + profits comparable to what I make for doing a few hours worth of work each week - yes, I know, perks of being an owner).  However, in August, they removed my 401K benefit & their contribution to it because it "cost too much", and then said, "oh, we'll give you a bonus to compensate for our missing contribution," which hasn't happened yet.

They also haven't kept their promises very well on promotion.  I've been told I was going to be a Vice President of the company (which doesn't mean very much when there are only 3-4 people), but still ... why say something & then never follow through ... just don't say anything to me at all!  I've been told since October that we are going to see how well the company performs (get our 3rd quarter stats on Profit & Loss) & get final year-end info on how well we did for 2012, but we have yet to see any information about that (they do share stuff with us on performance, who our biggest clients are, etc), but there is no "big game plan" for what to do to improve the company (like, how about we do "x" and "y" for sales improvement).  The owners are just absent most of the time, so they don't see what goes on & what needs to happen.  And with their son J being in it half-heartedly (it seems), I don't think it will get better.  There are also no employee reviews or compensation package available.  Just salary, which is 40 hours + working Saturdays (9-4) as needed, so some weeks, that is  47 hours with no day off the following week.  You just work extra.  No health insurance.  No 401K.  No paid maternity (the other gal is mad, as she wants to try and have another child).  

I'm torn on my loyalty for the company vs. what's good for my family (which I feel is moving home), feeling like I'm jumping ship (if I quit, the other designer will soon follow, as she also wants to leave too for the above reasons, but BIL will come on board, so they're not totally screwed), afraid of disappointing the owners & having them mad at me after all they've done for me, sad for missing my repeat builder customers & knowing that I do my job well, hating that I would go from "top dog" down to "low dog" again, afraid / sad of leaving the life & city I've known for the last 7-1/2 years, leaving my beautiful house (yes, there IS always another), hating to pack & move & say goodbye ... it is just ... I HATE change!  I'm also a people pleaser, a pessimist & a worry-wart (lets play the "worst case scenario" game - or the "I have a plan for "x,y,z" game.  DH hates both).  Granted, I have YET TO APPLY, but my mind is racing & I can't sleep.  If you have any prayers or advice on how to make a decision like this, I'd welcome them both.

Novena for Pope Benedict

This Novena will begin on Tuesday, February 19, and end on the last day of the month (the Pope's last day). We will pray for Pope Benedict as he steps down from the Chair of Peter. There will be a separate novena for the election of his successor.

Here is the Link for the Novena.  If you sign up for the daily emails, you will not forget to pray each day.  Please pray for the Pope!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, we got the call that changed our lives forever ... an expectant mother had chosen us to be parents for her son, due April 1st. As I sat today & thought of the blessing bestowed on our family this year in the form of Luke & his birth family, we could not have a better son & extended family in our lives. Luke was the balm for my bitter, broken heart. Oh, how we had waited & prayed for this moment!!!
Knowing that so many of you still wait for the day a little one comes into your lives, I continue to keep you in prayer as God continues to write your journeys. I pray for the happiness I have experienced this last year to be shared in your families soon.

Help Micah's Adoption Happen

While I do not know this couple personally, they have a whirlwind of a journey to become parents. Here is their link & their story. Lets pray they can raise the funds to adopt their son Micah.

http://m.facebook.com/pages/Tim-and-Juli-Shafer-Adoption/255550247904970?id=255550247904970&_rdr#!/profile.php?id=255550247904970&__user=747864508



Dear Family and Friends,
As many of you know, it has been a desire of Tim and mine to have a family. For 11 years we have trusted God to provide that family for us when He saw fit. This August Tim and I had talked about following through with testing and seeing where that would lead us. We also talked about the possibility of adoption.
Then a miracle started to happen. On October 13th we had a lady in our church approach us asking if we knew anyone who could help a young lady she knew who was pregnant. Tim told her to talk to me, as I grew up volunteering for Bethany Christian Services, a Christian adoption agency. I gave her all the information I had and also my phone number. I let her know that I would love to answer any questions this young lady may have.
On October 21st the pregnant young lady came to church and wanted to speak with me. I went over to introduce myself and we went into a room to talk. As I explained about the adoption agency and how the process worked she just sat quietly. After I got done talking she looked at me and said, “I know you two have wanted to have a family and don’t have one yet. I want you to take my baby. I’m due November 9th and it’s a boy.” I just sat there in shock. My only reply was, “I will talk to Tim and we will pray about it. We will see if that is what God is leading us to do. But if I don’t feel led to take the baby I will help you find the perfect home for him.” She looked at me again and said, “I want you to have my baby.”
From then on it has been a whirlwind of emotions and praying. Trusting God to do what He felt was best. I contacted a friend of mine named Bonnie who used to work for Bethany Christian Services. I told her about the conversation that had taken place earlier that day. She agreed to meet with the birth mom on Monday, October 22nd. Bonnie talked to the birth mom for 3 hours and got her background, her emotional stability, health situation, etc. After meeting with her, Bonnie looked at Tim and said, “How serious are you?” We knew at that moment our lives could be changed forever.
Tim and I talked for hours about this new possibility of being parents. We prayed and sought God’s will in the whole situation. We felt God telling us this was His plan for us and the baby. A peace came over us and we knew from that moment on we were going to take this baby.
On Wednesday, October 24th I went with the birth mom to an ultrasound appointment. The doctor performing the ultrasound said that everything looked good. Then he dropped a bombshell on us. He told us that her water had broken and that the baby was coming tonight. I was in complete shock. We were barely ready for a baby coming on the 9th of November; we were not ready for a baby 3 days after meeting this young lady.
I texted Tim that the water had broken and the baby was coming tonight. Needless to say, he freaked out a little. Then he drove down to the hospital and was there waiting with myself and Bonnie.
Well, long story short, Micah Timothy came into the world at 9:40pm October 24th, 2012. He weighed 5 lbs 15oz and was 18” long. Talk about being instant parents. We had nothing for a baby, we thought we had a couple weeks to prepare, but God’s timing is perfect and He knew that we could handle Micah coming that night.
Here is where you come in. We would like to ask two things of you. First, we ask that you partner with us in prayer as we begin this new adventure. Pray that we can raise Micah to be a man who serves God and lives his life for Him. The second thing we ask is for you to consider partnering with us financially. It is going to cost about $10,000 to adopt Micah. With only 3 days’ notice we were not prepared for this financially. So, we are asking that you would consider making a donation to help us legally adopt baby Micah. Tax deductible donations can be made to Palm Canyon Community Church, 25550 Ironwood Ave., Moreno Valley, CA 92557. Please note “Micah” in the memo line.
As we look back over the last few weeks we can see God’s hand in the whole situation. We serve a powerful God who wants His people to have the desires of their hearts. We believe that God has called us to raise this baby and that He will ultimately provide for our needs.
Thanks so much for journeying with us as we start this new phase of life. Please do not feel obligated to give money. Your love and prayers are a great support to us and are much appreciated.
Love,
Tim and Juli Shafer

Luke's Room

Here's Luke, doing a Happy Dance in his crib - He loves to look at all the new stuff on the walls!

Door to the hallway (we have a simple 3 Bedroom Ranch with bedrooms at one end)

The cubby unit & storage bins we bought at Lowes and use them to store all of Luke's toys (that are in his room).  We loved this so much we bought another organizer unit for the Living Room!

The LUKE letters I purchased here.  The Animal Wall Decals (alligator, zebra, tiger, etc) were a gift from Luke's Grandma (my MIL) purchased here.

View from the Hallway.  On the right is Luke's bookcase & the Closet.  Note the heater keeping Luke warm at night.  :-D  It has made all the difference!  Upon entering the room (unseen now), to the left will be the recliner, changing table & crib.  

Another view from the Hallway.  Here is our wonderful overstuffed recliner.  SOOOO much better (in my opinion) than the little glider rockers.  I tried out a glider rocker this weekend at my SIL/BIL's house and it was a tight fit and uncomfortable to sit there holding Luke.  I've never been so glad to take up so much space in Luke's room with such a huge chair!

The photo in the black frame is of DH, Luke & I just a few hours after he was born.  The Floating Shelves I used were the two we weren't using from our Living Room to put a few of his keepsakes on.  The clock I had from the Living Room redo that didn't make its way back on the walls out there.  The wrapped canvas animal prints I purchased here.  The white and blue sign with the bear & saying is from my friend who had the twins (the sign says my favorite verse (she didn't know it!) from 1 Samuel 1:27:  "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.")

Here is a photo taken as if I was standing at the closet ... the night stand was DH's from his bachelor days.  The lamp is my baby lamp from 30+ years ago.  The dresser we had purchased from Walmart once-upon-a-time for our own closet.  It is pretty tall for most people to use as a changing table, but for us 6'1" & 6'2" tall people, it is the perfect height!  The changing pad & cover we purchased from Walmart.  The black frames on the wall in the corner I used from a collage of photos purchased at Kohls (still need to print the pictures ...).  The ceiling hanging is an Angry Bird decoration from Luke's biological brother's 2nd Birthday party - his Birth Mom loves this color Angry Bird, so we put it up in Luke's room for him to enjoy.

The Wall Saying we purchased here.  It sure nails it, doesn't it?  :-D

The crib is my crib from 30+ years ago.  No, there is no lead paint.  Yes, the slats are regulation width.  I checked it all out beforehand.  I don't think the crib was ever hardly used, as my mom usually co-slept ... so it is in pretty darn good condition.  The bumpers (Luke sleeps better with them if you can believe it), bedding & wall hanging were a bedding set at Walmart (I think Garanimals?) which has probably changed by now.  I had trouble finding a bedding set that I liked for a boy.  If Luke would have been a girl, there were infinitely more choices to pick from - but I'm glad he is who he is!  The rug on the floor is a rag rug made by my dad using polyester material.  Dad sure put the Goodwill bell bottoms & polyester jumpsuits to good use!  

Well, there you have it!  The pictures aren't great (I am NOT a photographer in the slightest!) and the descriptions are a little hurried, but the room looks SO much better as a nursery than it ever did as our office.  When I remember that it was an office just one short year ago, I can't believe it!  I am so blessed!

Getting Ear Tubes

Last Friday, Luke got tubes placed in his ears.  I was so glad he was able to have it done.  We have had 3 ear infections (4 if you count that the 3rd infection lasted a month!) each month since October.  That's an infection on Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas & mid-January (even during his ear-tube surgery!).  We've tried all kinds of treatments to get the ear infections to go away & stay away, but they never would.  Lots of antibiotics and one set of tubes later, we have hopefully had our last infection.  I felt so bad that Luke was constantly having to take meds & just wasn't his happy self on some days.  Some days he would just cry.  That was upsetting.

The surgery was last Friday, scheduled for 8 am.  We arrived at 6:45 am in our Sponge Bob pj's to the registration desk.  Luke hadn't had anything to eat since midnight (that in and of itself was traumatic!), but he did really good.  We got vitals & just hung out in the hour and fifteen minutes until surgery.  It was fun entertaining a very hungry child, let me just say ...

There was another young baby girl who was also in for ear tubes, but she was older than Luke, so Luke got to go first (I think due to fasting).  While in the waiting room, Luke & the little baby would peek at each other from below the privacy curtain ... it was so cute!  Luke would get down on his belly & stick his rump in the air & just smile at her.  She would giggle back.  Just adorable!  <3

We didn't go back to the OR with him.  A nurse took him back.  He didn't scream or cry when she took him back (odd, due to his "only mommy can touch me" phase he's been in for a few months now).  About 10 minutes later, we could hear him crying ... he was all done!  The nurses had told us before hand that babies don't take well to anesthesia wearing off.  Babies are usually unfamiliar with why they feel so "weird" that they cry and cry and cry.  And Luke did just that.  He was inconsolable for about 30-40 minutes.  It was frustrating & a little emotional to say the least.  For being the mom who can console Luke just by holding him, this time I couldn't do that.  Even with holding him & whispering to him & kissing him, I couldn't make it better.  Even a bottle wouldn't stop his cries.  He just didn't know what to do.  He would drink his bottle, then pull off & cry.  Then start drinking again, then pull off and cry.  The nurse who was monitoring him, I have to give credit to.  She must have seen how frustrated I was, as she kept reassuring me that this is normal ... he will be okay ... just do what you can.  I honestly can't imagine what mothers of children who endure major surgery feel like.  This was tough.

We left the outpatient surgical hospital by 10 am & went home.  Luke slept for about 4 hours, then was up about 2 pm.  He drank a bottle & was back to his rowdy self ... he smiled, posed for pictures & videos & then proceeded to climb all over the couch screeching & grinning.  I was so very glad to see him perk back up so quickly!

(Watching Dora on TV)

Now, a week later, we are back to being sick.  This time, not from ear infections (I hope), but from a virus from some of the day care kids (oh, the joy!).  It starts with a cough (which he presented on Thursday & for sure right after daycare on Friday) and then moves into a runny nose (all day today!) and a fever (we were up to 102.9 as of 1:30 am).  I like daycare for the sociability, but NOT for the communicable diseases that are spread like wildfire to all the kids!  I think everyone who has been at daycare has had this wonderful disease.  Ugh. Currently, Luke is down to 100.2 degrees, so hopefully the fever is going away, and the runny nose is too! 

In other news ... I believe I have finally finished Luke's room!  Yes ... only 9 months after Luke came home, I have put most of the finishing touches on his room (walls, mainly).  I will take some pictures & post them.  I realize I have yet to do this for my living room, which I painted a few months ago.  It is never "clean enough."  LOL

Cycle Symptoms

I'm writing a post for my youngest sister who is 22.  She has short 1-2 day or 2-3 day periods, a hard abdomen & painful cramps each month.  I know Endo may be a culprit due to her painful periods (and our family history), but I'm not sure what would cause the short periods or the hard abdomen.

My mom wants her to use homeopathy & have my sister see a homeopathic doctor to treat / prevent the Endo & growth, which may work.  But after my experience in high school with painful periods ... being asked a zillion questions ... trying a bunch of remedies that didn't work ... & getting frustrated with it all.  I ended up taking ibuprofin to give me relief from all the pain, as well as recommending my sister take it for pain relief.

Does anyone have a recommendation of a doctor in Central Nebraska that would be a NaPro doctor?  I have looked at the following website:  http://www.fertilitycare.org/nebraska-medical-consultants/ .  I know that Dr. Skoch is retired, but it also listed a Dr. James Craig in Red Cloud.  There are other doctors practicing in Lincoln & Omaha, but Central NE is where my sister is located.

My sister doesn't have the resources to go to PPVI right away, so I recommended that she start with a NaPro trained doctor first.  She would need to chart first anyway to keep a record of her cycle patterns.  My sister is seeing a general practitioner doctor right now, who is no help.  Even though they have done blood & hormone tests, they all come back "normal."  We all know what normal means.  (eyeroll)

If you have any ideas, input or suggestions, it would be great!

A Squirmy Little Worm

Luke turned 9 months old yesterday.  He is getting to be quite the active, energetic, willful little boy.  I've noticed his little personality grow at home, but in the last week or two, I've noticed it A LOT at Mass!

Luke wants to crawl around, which isn't good in a confined space, as I'm sure he would crawl up the aisle or under the pews.  During Mass, he will squirm, writhe, babble, try and stand in my arms, jump back & forth from me to the hubby ... you name it.  We've recently brought Cheerios to Mass and he will behave if we keep him chewing (or gummin', as he has b.a.r.e.l.y one tooth).  He is at the stage now where he only wants Mommy or will cry or get upset, so Mommy holds him during Mass, errands, home, playtime, etc.  It makes it a little hard to get him to have fun with Daddy, Grandparents or Aunts & Uncles if Mommy is in the room.  But in reality, I do love his "all-things-Mom" attitude.  I have waited so long for that!

When I was little, there was a Cry Room at our parish.  Lots of people used it, but our family didn't come to Mass to head to the Cry Room.  We got a "look" from dad & straightened up pretty quick.  I am sure there were times when we headed to the back of the church or the Cry Room, but it wasn't often enough that I remember them.  Most days, it seems that some families just head to the Cry Room when they come to Mass, instead of try to sit in the pews and then if their kids are being disruptive, they head to the Cry Room.  It is not a bad thing to head to the Cry Room, I just want to try and avoid doing so as a weekly routine. 

The last Mass on New Years Day, he was pretty onery.  We had one lady stop by after Mass & say that she liked seeing us in the Church instead of the Cry Room or leaving Luke at home.  And she liked to hear him babble (which is really good ... it is hard to get him to stop sometimes).  It wasn't a complaint about Luke, but I feel pretty ragged once Mass is over ... like I've just completed a marathon of Luke-wrangling.  I do offer it up for those who would give anything to have a little one ... that is NEVER lost on me.  I just want to have some better ideas or behavior modifications to start so that we can sit in the pews with everyone else & have a well-behaved baby most of the time.

What are some ways to get a 9 month old to behave in Mass?

 My angelic little Cherub is watching out the window for ... Santa Claus!  :-D  Just kidding.  I think he was watching the flags blow in the wind.  It really mesmerized him!

 Flipping a basket on his head makes him ... "Davy Crockett"  

Plus, I just like putting things on his head.  He seems to love it too!!!

Goofing off with Mom on New Years Eve.  No Daycare + Mom = a Great Way to end 2012!

(P.S.  The blanket just got pulled off of his head ... now how do you think it got there?  hehe)