Finding the Truth

I was recently texted by my youngest sister, J (10 years younger), about how expensive IF treatment was.

I texted her what I remembered we spent during our years of treatment.

She texted back that she was just wondering volunteered that she has been seeing a specialist in a nearby town.  I asked J what tests had been run so far.  She tells me that this doctor is doing bloodwork & ultrasounds to figure out why she "can't carry that long" and also that the doctor (in the town where we all live) didn't believe that J has been pregnant.  That's why she was going out of town.

I recommend the Fertility Care Support Group who is pretty local & can help with charting (using NaPro and the Creighton Model) to diagnose and treat IF of all kinds.

She then tells me that, "Listen, I can get pregnant.  I just can't stay pregnant that long.  I can't carry to full term."

I repeat the benefits of NaPro & give her anonymous stories of other gals who have needed drugs/special IV's and treatment to stay pregnant.  I tell her there are success stories and I believe in NaPro, even though it didn't work for me.

She replies back that, "There are women out there that don't show they are pregnant on blood & HPT's.  I always test negative, that's why she tried to get a doctor to give her an ultrasound before she lost this last one.  I'm trying to check my progesterone with this doctor and see."

Inwardly, I'm thinking that this has got to be crazy ... who doesn't test positive with bloodwork?  I understand HPT's being negative, but I thought bloodwork would be conclusive.

I reply to her that she needs to have them test her HCG levels if she thinks she is pregnant.  Also, if she is worried about progesterone to have them prescribe shots (she's gotten pills) so they have enough dosage in them to do something.

She tells me, "I had progesterone pills, but they screwed up my body and just helped me slowly kill the baby.  I lost him so I'm not pregnant anymore.  DH's mom had the same thing being pregnant with my DH, that it would never show on tests, so we went to where her doc was that did the ultrasound, but he wouldn't take new patients, so that's why I'm going out of town, where a doctor will see me."

I realized that my texts with her to give her more information regarding NaPro, actually ovulating, confirming a pregnancy and actually diagnosing whether she had any ovulation, luteal phase or other problem, are going to be futile and fall on deaf ears, so I just say, "If you have any other questions, let me know."

The End.

---

Is it bad that I'm not sure whether to believe her or not?  She's called me before saying that she's miscarried (with about the same vague info) a few times, but all her HPT's were negative.  I'm not sure if she' gotten any bloodwork done before.  She just says she "feels" pregnant (I've SO been there myself), but she "just knows" she's miscarrying/miscarried.

I have talked to my mom about it (and so has J).  Mom thinks that J isn't miscarrying and wasn't pregnant (my mom has had 2 miscarriages, so she knows what happens).  The local doctor thinks that J hasn't been pregnant and it's all in her head (I can't fully support a non-NaPro doc's diagnosis ... we all know they don't know what they're talking about most of the time with IF).

I don't want to be unsupportive if this is true - if J was pregnant and has a problem carrying babies to term - I want to be there for her, because I know IF is a hard cross - and miscarriage is just as hard / harder.  I just think that there would be some way to confirm she was actually pregnant.

Thoughts?

Saying Words

I don't think I have anything to worry about yet, but I wanted to get some feedback to ease my mind.  When we were down to see Luke's birth mom, Becca, she mentioned that the doctor was concerned about her older son, E, not talking and communicating the way a 3-year old should.  He doesn't say too much in words, but uses the phrases that Luke does when "talking", sounding like gibberish baby talk.  They were going to test to see if he was autistic.  Seeing E the little bit that I do, I don't think he has any severe problems.  He listens to directions and communicates non-verbally or points / grunts to what he wants.  He whines or gets mad like any normal boy too.  :-)  Becca mentioned the doctors are concerned because he is still non-verbal.

What concerns me is that Luke hasn't started saying any words either.  None.  He used to say "mammmmm" when he was upset and wanted me and and "da-da-da-da-da" when he was talking about anything else.  Now he walks around saying gibberish that sounds like "tickle, tickole, tickole, tickole" (sometimes really fast, like he's having a conversation or telling us something).  He understands us when we tell him "no" (ok, about as much as he wants to sometimes) and tell him to "get your blankie" or "Luke, do you want a bath?"  He KNOWS what's going on (and runs to the bathroom for a bath).  I just worry that he ISN'T saying any words other than gibberish, knowing that there might be a potential family history there.

I know sometimes that kids don't talk until they're ready, and I still believe that. The blessing (and worry) of reading things on FB and other blog posts about other children, is that I sometimes compare the things they do vs. the things Luke can do (and worry about his lack of skills).  One little boy about Luke's age can draw with markers (say what!?!  Luke would eat those!).  Others are talking in phrases and saying things. Still others are potty training.  Stuff like that.  I don't want Luke to grow up too soon, but I don't want him to fall behind either, with a problem that I could (and should) catch early.

I know each child is different and develops at a different rate, but what is and isn't normal for talking for an almost 21 month old?

Pics, Consecration and Paint Colors

Hey all!  There's not a lot of big things happening here, but here are a few "newsies" and some cute Luke photos:

He LOVES to crawl in cubes and then stand up and turn around inside them, then leap out!

Luke went over to Grandpa & Grandma's house and climbed right up on the desk by himself.

Being silly in front of the camera!  Mommy stuck out her tongue.  Luke thought that was too funny, so he stuck out his too!  We love our iPhone and Luke loves to take "selfies"!

- I signed up for and completed my Consecration to Mary on December 8th by reading "33 Days to Morning Glory", which has 33 small readings and reflections for the day.  I (surprisingly) didn't miss many days ... about 3-4 total, which I made up doing double the readings on the following day.  There are so many great points in that book and I highly recommend reading it and consecrating yourself to Mary!  I remember thinking that only the "very Catholic people" would consecrate themselves, but then I realized that I am praying a daily Memorare for my family & friends, asking Mary's intercession for them and their intentions ... so how much "harder" is it to have her even more in my life?  It's not.  :-)  I try each day to act better and remember to ask her to intercede in my life.  Some days are better than others, but I do try.

- At Mass last Sunday, (the Immaculate Conception and the Day of Consecration), our little Lukie was quite the irritable inconsolable child with his tantrum during Mass.  We sat in the back pew, but after about 10 minutes, had to move to the cry room.  It was full, so we didn't get a pew, but rather sat in a few chairs in the back.  Without a pew to constrain Luke, he ran all over, including up to the front to be by a large Catholic family.  He jumped on the kneelers.  He ran over to pound on the window.  He kept making one of the boys get up to get out of his way to get to a window.  Then, he started coughing all over the kids, so we hopped up to get him.  I was mortified.  We couldn't pick him up and hold him, as he would scream bloody murder.  We needed a "naughty cry room", as he was the only one acting up.      He was screaming and flailing and rolling all over, so we left.  Yep.  We left Mass about mid-way through.  (Very terrible, I know.)  We get home, and the little stinker is running all over, forgetting about how naughty he was during Mass.  I was soooo irritated.  We cannot figure how to corral his energy and attitude, as today at Mass, DH took him into the cry room during the readings and I could hear him screaming through the entire homily.  They need thicker glass.

- At work, the other designer and I received a bonus for all the good work we are doing / have done at our job this last year.  That's pretty good, considering it is a rare occurrence to get anything more than $100, says the manager.  We were the only 2 out of 8 people to get one.  I am pretty excited, as hopefully my skills are showing well at work.  I am the computer whiz (my DH laughs and laughs at that, as I am clearly not at home) and the labeler / organizer at work.  It drives me nuts to have things messy and out of order.  I always get asked if I am working on anything, as I guess my desk is too clean to actually be doing any work.  I am very thankful to God, as money has been tight over the last year since the move.  Our income has been cut in half (almost), but it has been worth it, in my eyes.  We keep tithing and praying and God hasn't let us down yet.  He always provides.


- We drove down to see Josh's brother & family, as well as Luke's birth mom, Becca, over the Thanksgiving holiday.  We had a very nice time visiting everyone.  Luke had fun playing with his cousin (2 months older) during the time we were there.  They are going to be trouble the older they get, I think.  Becca and her family shared news that she had married her boyfriend (who was there during Luke's birth), so we were very excited for her!  I think they have a very good relationship and know he loves her son Eli (Luke's older brother).  Luke had fun jumping on the couches, playing with Eli, playing with Becca and wearing himself out!  He found Eli's cup of Koolaid and promptly drank it all up, one sip at a time (put down cup ... pick up cup ... sip ... put down cup ... pick up cup ... sip ... repeat)!  It was so cute!  We got a huge kick out of it!

Visiting DH's Grandma in the nursing home over Thanksgiving.  She has fallen several times & broken both her hips in the last year.  She has started to forget things, but always has a bright smile for her "little Lukie".  She brags about his hair and his smile to all who will listen.  She adopted DH's mom & DH's aunt about 60 years ago and been an inspiration to me.

Smiling for the camera on Thanksgiving.  Posing with us is Luke's cousin J (2 months older) and my MIL (DH's mom)

My little cheesy guy Luke with his cousin J.  They had fun sitting together and racing in the chair for a good 30 minutes!  They had the cutest laughs & squeals!

That is DH pushing the kiddos across the basement at BIL's house.  They loved it!!

- In Kitchen Remodel news, we have gotten the recessed can lights installed in the ceiling, some other electrical moved/installed, and the sheetrock up on the wall.  It's only taken 2 weeks.  (sigh)  It is a very slow process.  We waited all last week for sheetrock, then finally the guy comes Friday afternoon and hangs it.  It still has to be mudded and textured, then the ceiling painted before any Cabinets can be hung.  Hopefully by the end of the week we will have some Cabinets on the wall.  I'm not holding my breath.  We have flooring install scheduled for the last week of December, so I hope that Cabinets will be installed before then.  The week of Christmas is kind of burned through, as it is the middle of the week, so my guess is that anything that has to happen has to happen this week.  We will be living without Countertops until mid-January, I estimate, as there is Christmas + the countertop guy is taking a week off the first part of January.  Plus, he has other jobs to do.  At least get me my Cabinets and some Appliances.  I can make do without a sink ... I just need to stop piling crap on top of other crap.  That would make my day! 

After removing the old ceiling fan in the Kitchen, the single light in the dining room & adding (6) recessed can lights, it suddenly was brighter!  There will be three pendants above the island (blue boxes in the ceiling), a light over the dining table & a light over the sink.  Plus, you don't see the hideous old walls now that sheetrock is up!  It looks like we made progress.  :-)

Now ... who wants to pick a paint color with me?!??  I'm leaning towards these colors.  Do you like Blue-Grey or Brown walls?  I'm sure I'll post pics to have you vote here soon.  :-D

- Luke and I continue to pray for you all and your particular intentions every day at bedtime.  I know God hears my prayers, but I hope he will hear the prayers of Luke more (even though Luke doesn't get the whole process and bounces away or cries while I'm praying).  We pray especially for those of you who have empty arms this year and those of you waiting to find a spouse.  I can't forget those feelings myself.