One Year Blog-o-versary!!!

April 10, 2011 was the day I started my blog.

Who would have thought that a year (and a few weeks) could bring about so much change?

It was my hope that by starting a blog, I would find out I was pregnant ... or find out in a few months that I was pregnant.  That wasn't quite the case.  Looking back, I know I didn't wait long after starting a blog to become a mom.  There are still some of you who have started blogs before me that are still waiting to become a mom and it breaks my heart.  I continually lift you up to the Lord and pray that a child will soon be in your lives.

I know without the gift of Adoption, I would still be waiting and hoping to be a mother.  I know that my body is broken and have doubt that it will eventually be repaired to carry a child, even with all the knowledge of the doctors at the Pope Paul VI Institute and all the surgeries I've had.  That's not the way to have faith ... to doubt in God's ability ... but I do know that if God doesn't bless me with biological children, I am beyond blessed and humbled without a doubt to be the mother of a child (and hopefully, children) born to others.

Throughout the adoption process, I worried that I wouldn't love another's child quickly, easily or completely.  I would also worry that I wouldn't feel like they were "mine."  Although we only met Luke's birth mom at our initial meeting and then a second time at his birth, we didn't build a relationship.  He was still "abstract" to me in the womb.  Not that I didn't try to love him and pray for him, or that the seeds of love weren't planted, but after waiting for so long, my heart was still guarded that this wasn't happening ... this couldn't happen ... this might not happen.  I hadn't "seen" him.

Holding Luke for the first time, it was amazing!  He felt "mine."  Yes, he felt a part of me, even though I didn't birth him or carry him in my body for nine months.  It was scary being alone with him (and my hubby) in our room for the first time in the hospital, realizing that I don't have a clue what I'm doing here.  Adoption?  Are we really doing this?  Do his birth parents really think we can be good parents?  Are we going to be trusted with a baby?  Regardless of the fear, I've always been "my son" from the first day I met him.  And my love for him has not faltered, it has only grown.

To those of you out there considering and pursuing Adoption, let me confirm to you:  It is SO worth it!!!  Every CRAZY experience you go through.  I wouldn't be a mom without it.  I wouldn't be blessed with my amazing son.

My blog is called  "All in His Perfect Timing."  At times over the last few years, I honestly doubted God's timing.  I was impatient.  I was frustrated.  I wasn't sure that that I picked the right name for my blog ... that it didn't fit my life and my journey well.  In hindsight, my blog title is just another perfect God-incidence in bringing Luke home.

Now that you've read my testimony to Adoption ... I'd like to announce a give-a-way to celebrate one year of blogging!!!  :-)  Let me know who's reading by leaving a comment saying hi or anything else (nice) you'd like to say and I'll draw a name on May 2nd (in honor of Luke being one month old!) for either a Target or Walmart gift card!  Thanks to all of you who are faithful readers!!!  I'm honored to share my journey with you.