Memorial Day Weekend

Hoping everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!!!  On Sunday, we got together with my mom's side of the family for most of the day.  It was a good time to see everyone again and catch up.  This is the second year we've done this.  It was a long day.  We had a 3.5 hour trip to get there in the morning and one to head home again that night.  Lets just say that on Monday ... we slept in really late!  The Sunday with my family made me realize just how fast a year has gone.  I remember really clearly when we saw everyone last year.  All the babies last year are now toddlers and everyone's growing up way to fast! 

My parents were the only family there without grandkids (they are the only family on BOTH sides of the family without grandkids).  I don't know if it bugs my parents like it does me, but it bugs me (darn that jealousy) that my other family members are able to get pregnant (so easily).  My aunt & uncle, for example, have two sons in their early twenties.  One of their sons has three boys already and their other son just welcomed a daughter four months ago (both my cousins had kids at a young age out of wedlock).  This same aunt and uncle also "accidentally" got pregnant with twins.  If you've lost count, thats six little kids under the age of six.  My other cousin has three little boys and is pregnant with her fourth.  She's 34.  In her struggle to get pregnant this last time, she had two miscarriages within the last year.  She's been able to get pregnant with only "a few months of trying."  I don't wish her ill at all (I've prayed that she would be able to get pregnant & carry the baby to term), its just hard to watch them enjoy something you'd like to enjoy too. 

The hubby and I had a long talk in the car on the way home.  We want to be parents more than we want to get pregnant.  I have been calling around getting information these last few weeks from different adoption agencies and attorneys and we have narrowed it down to one option ... and a plan.  We are going to keep on with the medicines at PPVI, but we're going to start the adoption process.  A local agency has some reasonable fees and we can complete our homestudy with them.  There's no guarantee of a baby with PPVI and there's no guarantee of a baby through adoption.  If anything happens with us babywise and God blesses us, that's great, but I'm tired of "waiting" for something to happen.  My dad, who is very religious, is praying for us ... and keeps telling us to pray, but God doesn't always answer prayers in the way (or timeframe) that you want sometimes.

At the end of September, it will be one year since my laparotomy.  I don't know if adoption is what God wants me to be thinking (or if these are the appropriate thoughts in which to begin the adoption process), but I'm just going to jump.  In praying at church a few weeks ago, I realized that God isn't going to "take it easy" on me.  He knows I can handle the tough stuff, so maybe I AM supposed to pursue adoption.  It isn't an easy road, but I've read many blogs where it is so fulfilling and rewarding and people can't remember what their lives were like without their children.  I want that.  And because I want that, I'm going to start down a new path.