We have had some opportunities in the last month or so about whether we are interested in having our profile shown to a birth mom who has used drugs. One has used heroin for the first 4 months of her pregnancy.
What has been your experience with this? Has anyone adopted children exposed to drug use, especially serious drug use? I'm praying for God's guidance, but can't figure out what to do in those situations.
Any & all advice is greatly appreciated!
No advice, but I will pray for your discernment!
ReplyDeleteGosh, that is a really difficult decision. Praying that you find the answers and can make an informed decision.
ReplyDeleteAlways consult a pediatrician when you have the medical background on a birthmom. Just because a baby is drug exposed doesn't necessarily mean they will have any deficiencies or birth defects. Sending prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteI agree with The Pierce's. Check with a local pediatrician. Even if you have to pay a small consultation fee it is worth it. I have learned from my research that some drug exposure can be okay. Take it on a case by case basis. Praying for you and the children involved!
ReplyDeleteI would do some research on the medical aspects and then go to a quiet place, and hopefully the answer will come to you.
ReplyDeleteLena
What a tough situation. I'll prayer for you guys as you're discerning this decision.
ReplyDeleteThat's a difficult decision, I don't have any advice other than to keep praying! I'll be praying also!
ReplyDeleteI've read that the placenta can protect a child from some things (drug use), but I don't remember which ones. I don't have any personal experience either... but I'll be praying!!
ReplyDeleteI will be praying - I don't think there is a right or wrong solution in general here, I think you have to figure out what is right for your family. Prayers that the right answer becomes clear quickly.
ReplyDeleteSomeone at my church adopted a little girl ( she's now 7) that was exposed to extensive drug use throughout the mothers pregnancy. & born addicted. I don't know all the details of what specific drugs or how long the mother used. But the little girl for the most part is "normal" she has always been smaller than most kids her age, she's worn glasses since she was 18 months, & she may receive some learning assistance at school, but she looks and acts like any other normal 7 year old. I'm not saying that your experience will be the same, but a child exposed to that is going to need lots of love and attention.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for you & your decision.
There is a chart out there somewhere that lists drug use and potential effects (I found it via google a while back). I'll try to find it again. From what I remember, alcohol consumption is actually a lot worse than drug use. I remember being shocked about that. Prayers for your decisions!
ReplyDeleteI know nothing about it, but it sounds like a tough decision. Prayers for you and your husband making that decision!
ReplyDeleteI guess the only thing to be done is pray about it and do some research. That baby (and others like it) need a home of love too and they will be the right fit for someone. If you and your Husband feel called that perhaps you could be their home, then perhaps it is the right move. Prayers for the two of you as you make this decision together.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely be praying for your discernment here. I agree with talking to a pediatrician and finding out more about the drug use. Just keep in mind that many drug abusing Moms aren't always completely honest about their use, i.e. they admit to less than they're actually using. I've seen that more times than I'd like to admit.
ReplyDeleteI'm a NICU nurse and unfortunately have seen many babies born addicted and affected by drug use. Cocaine is by far the worst. Mothering these little ones can be a handful and I'm not sure I'd ever be able to do it. It definitely takes a special person.
Depending on how bad the abuse was, the baby may need to spend some time in a NICU after it's born,to treat the withdrawal with drugs like morphine and phenobarbital. It is HELL to watch them go through it and it breaks my heart EVERY time.
There can be physical deficits, but most of them surface as behavioral or mental issues. These babies tend to have colic and don't always sleep well. Poor feeding, dislike for stimulation and irritability are common. A lot of the mental issues surface later and ADHD is very common. Autistic tendancies show up frequently and there is an increased incidence of schizophrenia with some drugs as well.
All that being said, if the Lord is leading that way, He will provide you with all you need to be wonderful parents. These little ones sure do need lots and lots of love. I will pray for a peaceful decision for you.
I hope I didn't scare you and by no means do I want to talk you out of considering this. I've just seen many cases first hand and thought you'd like to know what the possibilities are. It always warms my heart to see these special little ones go home with loving parents. It's good to know they're getting a better chance at life than they'd have gotten originally.
Feel free to email me with any other questions.
mcdonnell418@gmail.com
Can you email me at adoptivus.mater@gmail.com? We are friends with a neonatal specialist and I will ask him if he'd be willing to talk to you about this.
ReplyDeleteMrs C
I know you are reading Isaiah's Adoption Story on my blog, but if you want more details (not shared for privacy reasons), please email me at andrewandjuliesadoptionstory at gmail dot com. It is a tough road, but I have to say that Isaiah belongs in our family so God gave and still gives us the grace to handle it with patience (sometimes) and love!
ReplyDeleteThe only advice I have for you here is to pray for discernment. A friend of ours adopted a baby whose birthmom abused drugs (I forget what kind) during pregnancy. The way they talk about it, is that this baby is a person, who will be someone's child. He might come with some health or mental issues, or maybe not. But they knew that they had enough love for that child. And they were willing to take on any challenges which presented themselves because of the drug abuse - and figure it out from there. Their son happens to be fine and healthy (thus far - he's only 1 1/2), and is especially adorable. :)
ReplyDeletePlease know that I'll be praying for your discernment. I pray that the Lord will make it clear to you, exactly what He is asking of you, and that He will give you the grace to handle whatever that is.